Question to the expert: “How to live after rape?”

How to go through pain and shame, get out of despair and re -build a sense of safety and self -confidence?

“I told my grandmother, and she burst into tears – the same thing happened to her at 15 years old. Suddenly I was born from rape? I’m afraid to tell my mother, I am very tormented … “

Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychologist:

“Dear Alesya, you are very bad now and have to go through pain and shame, and get out of despair, and re -build a sense of safety and self -confidence. Let’s in order. Your letter begins with the words “I myself am to blame: the company and vodka. »Error, underestimation of danger – yes, there is no fault. No one has the right to do something with the body of another person, whether it be a man or woman, without his consent. The fault for violence lies with those who took advantage of your helplessness, inexperience or carelessness. It’s good that you were able to tell your grandmother about what you survived is very difficult when you can’t tell anyone at all. Her reaction – “we are cursed, comes out” – brought you to the idea that you were born as a result of violence, since you do not know your father. Everything is simpler: grandmother and regretted you, and herself. For many years she was scared and embarrassed, and she could not talk to anyone on this topic. Whether to tell mom and how? You decide for yourself, it will wait. Here’s what you need to urgently do: find on the network everything that is associated with psychological help to the victims of sexual violence. And show yourself to the doctor,

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but not to the local, – you need to make sure that health was not injured. Well done, immediately began to think about how to pull yourself out of trouble – and get out, and you will find help and get. And as soon as it becomes easier, think about the future: judging by age, you just have to decide on the profession, go to study. Other people will appear around, new classes and acquaintances. It is very important to choose these people and classes, so that in a new life you are appreciated and respected. This will be a real victory, and I wish you it with all my heart “.